What Age Can You Leave Kids Home Alone? | Loose Women
How to Get Your Child to Leave the Playground
It's usually never easy to get your child to leave the playground. You feel badly for other parents who are struggling with their children in full tantrum mode, screaming, holding onto the playground gate, begging to stay and play just a little bit longer, but that is rarely the best time to rush over and offer advice. Not only that, but you might be the victim when you tell your own child is time to go. But it doesn't have to be like that.
For Younger Children
Let your child know that it's almost time to go.His reaction will probably be very different if you start preparing him for the moment when you have to go than if you abruptly tell him you need to go immediately. Start preparing him to leave the playground and give him a five minute warning.
Be direct and firm.When it's time to leave the playground, after having given a five minute warning, and maybe even a one more minute warning, approach your child and tell him "it's time to go." Generally this can cause your child to state that he or she doesn't want to leave yet (whether or not they can put this into words doesn't matter -- you understand somehow that they don't want to leave).
Follow through.It is important to do what you say you are going to do, or else you become unreliable, and your child will learn that you do not mean what you say, and your child will push you (usually by whining or screaming or some other "torture" method), and if you give in to the child's demands, you are teaching the child to act in this whining/screaming/awful way, because you are rewarding him or her.
Reflect his behavior.To reflect is to make yourself a mirror for the child of the child. So you say to your child, in a soothing voice, "you wish we could stay in the playground. You feel very sad to leave the playground." Or "you look so angry because we are leaving. You wish we could stay and play longer." This lets the child know that you understand. There is no need for the child to scream or escalate into a tantrum once the child has been heard. There is no need for you to bribe the child with a treat if he or she will leave in peace. You might even surprise the child further by offering your own feelings about how hard it is to leave the playground, especially if they match the child's feelings; this will foster greater attachment.
Praise the child for leaving peacefully. Let the child know that you appreciate his or her cooperation and that life is so much nicer when the two of you can cooperate with each other.
For Older Children
Before going to the park, talk with your child about behavior."Let's go to the park, but let's not argue about having to leave when it's time to leave. How do you think we can do that?" Chances are your child might not know or might say that you should stay all day and all night! That's okay. You are going to explain that you have an idea -- you will approach him or her to privately speak with him or her before it's time to go. You will not speak loudly across the park in front of their friends because this sets up a power struggle. You will quietly remind your child that it will be time to leave soon and ask him or her how much time he or she needs. He or she is allowed to ask for up to ten minutes more. You agree to give that much more time, and then you can add some reflection from step one while nicely leaving with your child once the time is up. Get your child to agree to cooperate before you go to the park. They can pick how much "extra" time they get to play for up to ten minutes, but then they must cooperate and leave with you.
Tell him you need to leave and ask how much more time he needs to finish up.When you are in the playground, and you want to leave in fifteen minutes, approach your child, and without speaking loud enough for others to hear, tell your child that it's almost time to leave and ask him or her how much more time he or she needs. If your child says more than ten minutes, remind him or her that you agreed on ten minutes or less. "Please pick a number between one and ten." Once they have chosen a number, say, "in that many minutes, we will leave. I will come and remind you." Then do that. If they protest, reflect how hard it is, how sad they feel or angry or disappointed or frustrated or whatever you think they feel at that moment -- it is okay if they correct you with a different feeling. Take the corrected feeling they provide and reflect that feeling to them. It helps if you show it on your face as well.
Video: At What Age Is It Right to Leave Your Child Home Alone? | Good Morning Britain
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